The broken record technique

One of my clients manages a team of over 100 people, and regularly tells me she could write a book about how managing is like parenting.

If you’ve ever been around kids, you know how this works...

A child asks for something. You say no. They ask again. And again. And again. They escalate—whining, pleading, bargaining—watching for any sign of hesitation, any emotional crack in your armor that signals maybe they can wear you down.

They’re testing, looking for an opening. And if you give them even a hint that your “no” isn’t final, they’ll keep pushing. You may not realize it, but you’re sending signals with your emotions.

Now, replace the child with a difficult coworker—the one who ignores your boundaries, keeps pressing, and won’t take no for an answer. They may not be whining (well, hopefully not), but they’re doing the same thing: testing your emotions to see if they can sway you.

The trick? Don’t give them the emotional signals they’re looking for.

The Broken Record Technique

At home, a firm, calm “I said no” on repeat—without frustration or debate—shuts down the child’s game. At work too.

When a coworker keeps pushing, don’t argue, don’t over-explain, and don’t let them pull you into an emotional back-and-forth. Instead:

• Stay calm. No eye rolls, no sighs, no frustration—just neutral, confident energy.

• Repeat your message. Like a broken record, say the same thing firmly and consistently each time they push.

• Make eye contact. Not aggressive, just steady and direct. A smile goes a long way.

For example:

• “I can’t take on that project right now.”

• “I understand where you’re coming from, but my decision is final.”

• “I’ve already given my answer.”

No debating.

No wavering.

No emotional breadcrumb trail they can follow.

This doesn’t mean being cold or dismissive—it means being clear, firm, and cordial.

Difficult people thrive on getting a reaction. The less you give them, the faster they realize you’re not budging.

So next time someone tries to wear you down, let the broken record play. Nicely, of course.