Don’t fix it, help them grow

When you tell a direct report, someone you have power over, to fix something, change this, do that, don’t do it this way…

What’s the underlying message they may take away?

No one likes to have their agency reduced, their autonomy removed, or their self-efficacy diminished.

Self-efficacy is a person's belief in their ability to perform a task or achieve a goal. Even if people come to you and ask what to do, they often don’t really want advice.

Instead, you can start with validation first – not validating of their behavior, because that’s what you’re trying to change – but validating something about their being, who they are.

Validate their patience, their tenacity, their accuracy.

Help them feel you’re on their side.

Then, move on to something like, “You know what would make you even more effective?”

“You know what you could do to take you to the next level?”

Then share your feedback.

People want to be inspired to grow.

They want you to come from a place of “Hey, I want to see you succeed,” instead of a place of “Hey, you’re doing something wrong…fix it.”