9 responses to hurtful comments

We’ve all been on the wrong side of callous or mean words. Here are some responses that can keep you in dialogue:

• I'm curious, what led you to say that?

• I want to make sure I'm not making assumptions about what you said. Can you clarify?

• I'm not comfortable with that language.

• That felt hurtful. What did you actually mean by that?

• That sounded loaded, like there's something deeper beneath that comment.

• I'd appreciate it if we could communicate with respect.

• Let's take a step back. I don't think we are understanding each other right now.

• Perhaps we can discuss this constructively when we’re both in a better frame of mind.

• I'd appreciate if we could be mindful of each other's feelings.

All of these options express your needs while showing respect for theirs.